Do you have many skeletons in your ancestral closet? I thought October would be a good time to give that closet a good airing out.
The Most Recent Skeleton
My biggest one, that I usually do not talk about because there is still some shame to it - (but then again, I did nothing and my folks did nothing and I was completely removed from it.) is about my dad's older brother, Paul.
Grandma had 9 children. Uncle Paul was number 7; my dad came 18 months later and then my Aunt Reba. Apparently what I have heard is that Paul had issues. Mental issues. He was the only one of the boys (there were 3 of them) who did not serve in the military. He had issues with alcohol and just acting like a jerk.
It was October 1958 when he and his wife just gave birth to their 5th child. Jan 1, 1960, 18-month-old Roy Lee, was taken to the hospital for having a seizure. When being released from the hospital, my uncle grabbed the baby, his baby son, and slammed him into the floor. What the newspapers did not mention, but family members did - was that he thought the baby, his baby son was a demon and he believed God told him to kill it.
This was written up in all newspapers across the country. I have a few of them, that my mom kept for me. Clippings about the trial, everything. Very sad. Needless to say, my uncle's wife divorced him and he was sent to a mental institution till about the late 1980s or early 1990s. He was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia.
At family reunions growing up when we would travel back east to visit - the grownups would huddle around and talk - keeping this information away from us kids until we were old enough to know.
I was about 16 when my folks decided I needed to know - My uncle always seemed to favor me and I always liked him too and always asked why he was in a hospital - and why we couldn't see him. We always waited outside in the car when we would go back for those family reunions. We always made a stop at the mental hospital so my parents could visit him.
So he lost his whole family - and went on to remarry a gal 20 years younger than him and they had a baby girl in 2004. He died a year later at the of age 75.
My Grandma was heartbroken. My Grandpa didn't let it bother him too much that anyone could see - they always had problems with him as he was growing up. He was in trouble with the law many times.
Dad, Uncle Paul, and Uncle Stanley (left to right)
But get this - the rest of the family - my dad's 6 sisters, some of them actually blamed my dad. Mostly the sisters (my aunts) said it was because my Grandma and Grandpa favored my dad which was news to my dad. And that Paul was pushed to the side when my dad was born. One time when my dad was 10 and Paul was 11/12 he tried to drown my dad in a creek. One of the sisters saved my dad. She was one who also moved far away from the family and yes, they all talked trash about her and her family too.
My dad sometime in 1934 - he must have been 18mos, almost 2 years old. He is the blonde one in the middle of his sisters and his older brother, Stanley with his hands on him.
Come on, schizophrenia has nothing to do with any of that. It is caused by imbalances of chemicals in the brain.
So, because my dad moved us to California where I was raised - he didn't like me having too much interaction with my cousins because their mothers (my dad's sisters) were telling them trash about my dad which resulted in, today - these cousins of mine, don't want anything to do with me. Which is fine. I don't want anything to do with them as well.
I tried years ago when Facebook first came on and I got in touch with them. They never really wanted anything to do with me. Years of being brainwashed about my dad and our family. One cousin actually slipped and told me that my mom was "uppity" That cousin was my uncle's oldest daughter. Yeah, I know my mom did tend to be uppity - I know it but I don't like it knowing the rest of the family talks about it and then tells me. That's hurtful.
I now understand why my dad moved us out and away from his family. They were toxic. I grew up in California and while I always enjoyed my family back east - I am probably a better person because I was removed from the toxic atmosphere, especially after my grandparents passed in the 1970s. 1971 was the last time I was back there and the last time I saw my grandparents alive. They are all still a secretive bunch.
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