My cousin's DNA came back and it was the shocker I feared it might be - My mother and his father were only half-siblings! I've spent nearly 10 years looking for those Damn Hasenstabs, only now to find out, they aren't even my family! What a waste of time!
I should have known - my uncle and my mom were 16 years apart. Yeah, I thought it was strange but my mom told me, she was a menopause baby. (Grandma was 37) They must have gone into menopause younger back then. No, the facts are, that Grandma was a naughty girl. She lied to her daughter for years. I don't know if my mom ever knew the truth. I believe she must have because she and her mom were not close and at one time, Grandma went missing and my mom had to fly back to find her. So, there was stuff going on. Of course, like any little girl, I believed everything my mom told me.
As my mom got older, she obsessed about not ever knowing her father. Drinking a bit more than she should and popping pills, she once told me that her real father was a Peter Leech (Leach) from Northern Ireland and he was a wanted man by the FBI and was with the Irish Republic Army. Then a few days later, she tells me to forget about it - that she was wrong. I was like, "Whatever!" Then when I asked her about it a few years later, she denied ever telling me that!
OMG, talk about dysfunction!
I just feel like a FOOL. Spending so much time, looking for Hasenstab. I even flew back to Dayton Ohio and looked for his grave. When I found it, I was overtaken with such emotion, I fell on his grave and cried.
My sister died never knowing the truth.
Yeah, I'm pissed. Why do families mess with the truth? I guess they never thought beyond their own generation. It was all about them and not future generations.
So I now have this huge daunting project in front of me and to be honest, I don't feel optimistic that I will ever find my mom's bio father and family.
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You never know.....maybe one can look at birth records or even the name you were given and search this name and you might find something out. My aunt had a child out of wedlock and never told her son who his father was despite his numerous requests. My mom has said she probably doesn't know because she slept round. My mom never said that before but my mom has dementia so I think she is more honest now.
ReplyDeleteYou'll find them. They will show up as a DNA match someplace. I found my grandfather's family. His parent's weren't German immigrants. My great grandmother was not Irish. Last names I know popped up stubbornly. I got one last name that I don't know how it fits in. But these people are third cousins.
ReplyDeleteTo take the edge off, I know if a couple couldn't get pregnant at one time, they did test a mailman or two. I have a great great grandmother whose marriage was dubious. It was rough on women in the 1800's.
It sure was. Gee, I always thought (when I was younger) that the women back then were virgins when they married. I am finding out, throughout my genealogy, there are a lot of "early" births! lol
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